We recently went on a trip for Richard’s graduation. It was an amazing
trip filled with family, friends, celebrations, food, and lots of fun
activities. My favorite part, however, wasn’t any of the things I went to
Missouri for; my favorite part was the tornadoes.
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| pic cred: http://wonderopolis.org/wonder/why-do-some-people-chase-storms |
May 19, 2017 was a day of significance for several reasons. First, it was
the purpose of our trip, Richard’s graduation with his Doctorate of Physical
Therapy. Second, it was the 7 month birthday of Colt, his first monthly
birthday not spent in my arms. Third, it was exactly one week after we had
taken him on his last walk to the cemetery and laid him to rest. I was already
feeling the significance of this day before it even began.
At approximately 1:30am our phones started going off, followed shortly by
the tornado sirens blaring. We were under a tornado watch/warning, and quickly
took our family to the basement of our hotel. While there, I couldn’t help but wonder
if it was Colt waking me up one last time from my sleep. There were many people
in that basement, and many different emotions circling around. I quickly went
from feeling slightly frightened, to being completely at peace. I knew our
family would be ok, no matter what happened. I felt like Colt was watching over
us, and just wanted to scare me a little, like most boys like to do to their mothers.
After we had got some rest, showered, and got ourselves ready for the
day, we ventured out to one of our favorite shopping places, the Tanger Outlets
in Branson. We shopped, let Graci ride a mechanical horse, and had fun walking
around. It wasn’t long, though, before we needed to head to the University and
attend Richard’s first ceremony.
We attended the first graduation ceremony, an intimate presentation of
just the students in the DPT program with Richard. It was my favorite ceremony
I have ever been too, partially because one of the student speakers held a
moment of silence for our sweet Colt. After, we explored campus for a bit before
the tornado sirens went off for the second time that day. Yet again, we found
ourselves huddled in another basement. At this point I was feeling pretty
confident that Colt was enjoying himself way too much. Even though I was again
slightly frightened, I felt peace in knowing we were going to be ok.
It wasn’t long before we had to brave the storm and make our way to the
next ceremony. I was a little nervous to go outside with the sirens still
going, but there had been no sign of a tornado close by, and the graduation
wasn’t waiting for it, or us. So we went. Once we were all settled in the rafters
of the stadium, (our prize for trying to be safe in the storm), I got out my
phone to look at the weather. I learned that our location was pretty much in
the clear at this point. I felt safer. Then another headline caught my eye. I
was surprised to learn that at 1:30 this afternoon, just 1.5 hours after we
left the Tanger Outlets, a small tornado touched down on the shops. It didn’t
do much damage, but it did throw one of the mechanical ride-on toys into the
parking lot. The same toys that Graci loved and had sat on earlier that very
day.
I knew then, as sure as I know anything, that Colt was with us. He was
there on this significant day, and he was following us, using the weather to
help us feel him. We lived here for 2.5 years, through two tornado seasons, and
not once had the sirens gone off during that time. But they did that day, and
only on that day.
Heavenly Father is truly in our lives every second. We have noticed it so
much lately as we have recognized ways he has prepared us for this trial, and
noticed how he is helping us through it. I know with a sureness that there is a
life after this one; an amazing life, full of happiness and loved ones. They
are there, cheering us on, waiting for us to return home so they can embrace
us. There is light all around us, we just have to open our eyes and see it. The
blessings are there, God does not leave us alone, ever, especially during our
toughest trials. I have witnessed so much light in these dark days. I feel so
lucky and blessed, at a time I thought I would feel cheated and lost.
The bad days still come, there are still times where I ask, “why me?” but
I am always quickly humbled. I have an amazing life. I may miss my son, but I
am constantly reminded that he is near. I know I will see him again. I will get
to hold him in my arms, look into his big blue eyes, and make him giggle. I
will get to tell him stories, sing him songs, and take him on walks. He is
happy, he wants me to be happy, and he is probably just as anxious for our
reunion as I am. ‘Til then I will keep letting the storms follow me, and face
them bravely with an assurance of God’s love for us all.
