Thursday, December 7, 2017

Headstone Reveal

Colt has been gone for 7 months, today. I decided it was time to do a headstone reveal to honor him.


Probably my favorite thing that happened with his headstone was how long it took to perfect it. We tried to get it done for his birthday, and it was there, but it wasn't exactly what we wanted... it was facing the wrong direction and had the wrong picture... but now, it is PERFECT!

The ironic thing about all the chaos with getting his headstone just right, was that Richard and I finally saw it, completed and perfect, on Colt's 200th day gone... Thanksgiving. For some reason I loved that this forever marker of Colt took the exact same amount of time to perfect as Colt was with us on this earth. It is just another one of those (many) things that are very significant to a grieving family, and it makes this stone even more special to me.



The front of his headstone is ALL about Colt. 

I LOVE pictures, and the most important detail for me was that big 8x10 picture of Colt for us to see when we visit with him. It is my favorite detail, and I love how it makes him stand out from the crowd.

We also had to add the little horseshoes, because that is his symbol; and the hat and cowboy boots, because he was our little cowboy. In fact, one of the hardest things for me this summer, was going to our first rodeo without Colt. I shed a few tears as I watched all the cute little boys around me dressed in their rodeo outfits... my heart breaking. I have always dreamed of getting a little boy that I could raise to be a cowboy, and loved dressing Colt in his plaid and blue jeans with his John Deere boots. I would have loved to watch him do rodeo one day, we will have to see if they have it in Heaven... maybe he is up there practicing for me right now! :)

The last detail that I put on the front is one of my favorite songs, since forever... 'Godspeed', by the Dixie Chicks. Just a few days after Colt was buried here, I went up to visit him, my heart in pieces. We were about to leave for Missouri without him... I had his plane ticket... his dinner cruise ticket... but I had no Colt. I sat there, pouring my heart out to him, wishing he was going with me, unable to comprehend how I was just leaving him... and then this song popped into my head. I sang it (horribly) to him right out loud, crying as I did so, and I felt at peace. I knew that he was ok, that he would be with me no matter where I went, and that he knew I loved him. I now LOVE that song even more than I used to.



The backside of Colt's headstone is about his family. (at least the most immediate ones). In all honesty, I had a hard time not listing a WHOLE BUNCH of people on his headstone... but decided to settle with just the three of us. (He is one loved little guy). My favorite part about this is the marble that ended up being across our names. To us, it looks heavenly, like angels are touching them, and I feel like that is another way that Colt is letting us know that we are not alone.

The lyrics on the back are from Colt's 2nd lullaby. My aunt made us a video, which we displayed at Colt's funeral, of all the pictures I had taken of Colt, accompanied by the BEST background music. The song that stuck out to me the most was 'Lullaby' by Gentri. I listened to that song everyday, sometimes several times, for months after Colt died. It brought me a lot of comfort, and summed up how I was feeling. I made Richard sing it for him at his birthday this year, and cried like a baby as he did so. Poor Colt probably rolls his eyes at how emotional I can be!

If you can't read the lyric in the picture, here is what it says:
I will guard you while you're sleeping, and I will be here waiting when you wake... Let this peace, set you free, and sweetly rest.

We chose the black headstone with white writing, against others advice, because that is what we liked... I'm so glad we did, because he really does stand out up there on the hill. You can't miss seeing him. He gets kind of dirty, especially because he is under a VERY dirty tree, but I actually kind of like that aspect as well. Some of my favorite memories with my family (and Colt) are going up and cleaning him off every once in awhile. It lets me keep serving him, which may sound funny, but it brings a lot of comfort.

I really don't know how it turned out so perfect, but I couldn't love it more! It is my favorite place to visit, and I enjoy being able to keep him looking festive for the seasons or holidays. I love that I get to be this guys mom, and I love that he is always letting me know that he is thinking of us just as much as we are thinking of him. Happy 7 Months!